Not for the faint of heart

This is not for the faint of heart. As I start to write this many memories come flooding back. I feel the need to write this momory down, maybe I will get some peace.

All I feel about that time is sadness, extreme sadness. I woke up to a warm room and dim sunshine coming thought my window. It was time to get up, get dressed and greet the cold to care for the animals. What am I going to wear? Man its going to be cold out, I better dress really warm. Are there no matching gloves? I guess I will put socks over my hands. I have poop patrol today, lucky David gets to feed and water. It really looks cold out, I guess I better get going. Steping out into the fridged are.... BBBRRRR, the wind is coming right through my coat and sock gloves. Here's the bucket and the pitch fork. Empty, worthless thoughts running through my head. Whats that? What the heck? Oh, no Tora has her paw caught! Running, somethings not right. Oh I can't get it out! "David, come quick....Help me, I can't get her paw out!!!" David has to KICK her paw to get it un-stuck, its terribly swollen. "Lets get her into the house, her foot seams to be frozen solid." In the house she warms up and the paw continues to swell. "What do we do mom?" goes un-answered. Again "What sould we do, can we wrap it?" The paw starts to crack open, like skin tearing. "Take her to the barn and tie her there", we are instructed. I'm going to throw-up. We take her out and tie her, crying. Hot tears running down our young cheeks. Leaving her there but we don't know why. We go to feed her later that day. ***I'm crying now*** She has chewed her paw and foot off! I am so sick, I am freaking out... running to the house. "MOM, MOM...." more tears, my heart is going to beat out of my chest, I am struggling to stay on my feet, running fast in the snow. "MOM, what do we do, mom!!!" "Take her far up back into the woods and tie her to a tree, David." "But mom...", "Take her now." David brings her up deep into the back woods and ties her to a tree, tons of tears, fears, heartbreak. It cannot be bore with such little hearts. Returning home, the house is silent, even silent tears. Hours later...What is that? A scratching at the door.... Tora she has chewed her tie and returned home with only 3 paws, how is she serviving. "Can't we please take her to the vet...please" "There is nothing that can be done now, take this chain and go tie her back in the woods, she can't chew a chain" Oh Lord, help, please help. I can't bear the pain. She is taken back out and chained in the cold dark woods, lonely, so lonely, loyal, man's best friend betrayed by her family. Tied with LITTLE HANDS and left to die by LITTLE INNOCENT HEARTS, throbbing in pain. She dies.

I am plagged by this memory, Father, forgive me, I was only a child instructed by a cold hardhearted adult.